bad ride

I woke up the same time as last week -2:30am. Start the ride around 3:07am.

It just get bad to worst from there onwards. I always feel that the most important of a solo workout is to get out of the house first. Which i did. I was not feeling that bad, just the usual(questioning myself why i am doing at this early the morning) babbling as i started my journey.

The feeling was okay all the way till Casaurina. Although can feel abit of tightness, i can still manage to peddle forward in lighter gears(to get the engine warm up). Reached Casaurina at 3:46am. I guess the pace was decent.

Something strange happens when i hit upper thomson road. Firstly there are 4 motorcyclists doing interval inside the small stretch irritating me! It is a small road and they are racing and keep close to each other. It is dangerous for a <20km/hr MTB(me) squeeze the lane with them! I hope the cameras on the lap pole catch their activities!

For whatever reason the pace went southwards. I was pretty demoralise looking at the speedo. Is it that i am feeling tired? What is happening to me? I wasn't feeling that bad, should be my average pace, how come it is so slow! Something is brewing. Even on the downslope it is not going at a decent speed!

Turn into seletar reservior, i start a small climb. Still not feeling that good. In fact horrible. Something is wrong. On the longer climb up the highway, i start to stand up and peddle upwards, it is panting(not surprise) but when i sat down, suddenly the tail lights bulb snap! Crashed and snap behind on the road. wtf! I turn back, looks at the pieces of debris. So surprised on the sudden change of events. I pick up the pieces and fix it back on the bike. Checked the bike and couldn't understand why the tail lights broken into pieces(for no reason)! It is an omen, maybe something bad. I couldn't tell what is it that is bothering me.

After a short stretch on the entrance to the crematorium, i decided today is not a day to ride and u-turn back.

Strangely on the way back, i felt so relax and comfortable. Pace is still horrible, but HR is low. Feel like something has been lifted from my chest.

Choose to use YCK route back as it has less traffic(more slopes hor). I take it super easy and slowly cruise back home thinking of the conservations i had yesterday with a friend.

Running suppose to be fun and enjoyable. We couldn't understand why fellow runners want to pay to run. Not to put in name, we are aware that some running groups are charging for running with them. Each session could be in $10 or more. I find it too commercial. Some running club charge a token amount to be members(which i feel it is reasonable). After which when you run with them, they started charging extra for the training. Wow, that is something i couldn't understand.

I can engage a coach and guide me along to run faster, further, better. But in group running, still have to pay? That is too commercial for my taste.

I haven't really enjoy biking since i pick it up again a few years back. The reason to start cycling isn't about leisure cycling, but for the purpose of training. That is not the way i want to cycle.

I ran to get fit and not ran to get faster! I cycle so that i can be a better cyclist! This is wrong! All wrong! That is why i didn't get myself a bike for the past few years. I want to enjoy cycling and not get faster and stronger on the bike. To enjoy i just need a MTB, not a sophisticated road/tri bike. I make a wrong step at the beginning, i thought i can still maintain a healthy cycling habit. But i was wrong, i am concern about speed, the distance and whether the training is hinder by any long break or not. This just make cycling all the tough, let alone doing it alone in the middle on the night/morning.

Reached home base at 5am. Almost 2 hours of biking for 34km. Not before the reflective light behind break and fall into pieces as i get into the carpark. Wow! Seems like everything is breaking down. Strange!

Time to get some rest and recharge.