Don't like the feeling

It is suppose to be 30km this morning for those doing KL event. As for myself i think i do 20km + abit.

It was 5:30am+ when Burnz, Tao, Wishbone, Hoho, Fennel, Terence, Yankee and myself started our run from B1. The wind is breezy and lightning keep flashing somewhere. Again there is some 2nd thoughts for quitting due to the imminent rains, but the run have to move on no matter what!

The pace is slightly fast for the first 4km. It wasn't that fast actually when i reached there in 26mins. Take a short walk before we complete the 2nd 4km in total 57mins. Tao U-turn while the rest proceed.

Take a short break before the rest proceed to reach our 30km U-turn point - coastal route fire station. My intent is to do a 20km+ distance today which includes going to the end of ECP(around B1 area). Ended up run past NSRCC to reach the first traffic light(before green fence) as it seems some are waiting for other to make the first move to u-turn at NSRCC. No choice have to push on. Don't want them to take the opportunity to u-turn earlier. Don't want to push my luck too far and U-turn earlier at the traffic light. I think another 700-1km from NSRCC.

I am on my own now and have to focus to try and run non-stop. It wasn't easy. Take a water break at NSRCC(in case you aren't aware there is a water cooler on the road side leading into NSRCC).

Run to sea sports toilet. Time is about 1:42hr. Hmm....i think decent timing. Took a walk break near F2 before going all the way till seafood area toilet. I was tired. Breathing is slightly more difficult, but nothing to be alarm of. Time is about 2:10hr.

The max distance so far is about 20km. Now the distance cover is closer to 20km. In order to improve my fitness i have to go through this phrase(keep pushing up the mileage) in a regular manner. I need to push on to see how much the body can take. Doing it alone is a much difficult task though.

Dunno if it is mental weakness, i don't seem to be able to run in a consistence manner. Legs are not injure or tired. HR is decent, breathing seems to be in normal mode. Somehow i just don't feel like pressing on. I don't like the feeling.

I start to walk and run. I know i can still press on if required. But somehow an inner voice keep challenging me, why am i doing this! I relent and walk more in the process. I don't like the feeling.

Slowly and eventually i reached the end in 2:50hr. I was disappointed. It is not the timing or the distance. I don't like the feeling of giving in to "god knows what it is called!".

The rest of the too came back before 9:30am. A decent run IMO.

Is it weak mind? Or is it endurance needs to be improve? No matter what is it, i think i better get a HRM soon to monitor the progress and see if it might help.